The Timeless Tale of Smashville's Finest
by Coraircate
Summary: Four guys end up on an adventure through space and time. Join Meta Knight, Fox, Ike, and Snake as they battle evil crime syndicates, hunt down crooks, and solve ancient mysteries of places nobody knows much of anything about!
1. The Best of Times

Disclaimer: I do not own the _Super Smash Bros. _series or its characters. Thanks, Obama.

* * *

Author's Note: This takes place after the events of _Smashing Shenanigans_, featuring some of the characters from the original and a few references to the story. If you'd like to read that first, then good on you. **There are spoilers in here telling what happened, so if you haven't read that, now is the time. **Don't worry, though... You'll understand what's going on here even without reading that. But if you enjoy this, then you'll probably enjoy that one too. Thanks for taking the time to read this note, and I really do hope you love this fanfic.

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#1: THE BEST OF TIMES

Christmas Day 2013 was quite a strange time in Smashville. Following the explosion of a meth lab, the appearance of two new residents, and some group of friends getting arrested by an army of Pokemon, nobody really knew what to expect of their town anymore.

The arrest of Captain Falcon, Wolf, Lucario, and Marth changed more than their own lives. Roy, confined to a wheelchair after events of the Melee tournament, lived with Marth for basic support. Now that he was away, Roy struggled to adjust to his new lifestyle. He attempted to find a new roommate, though nobody really seemed interested in becoming a caretaker.

Meta Knight was less devastated, though still inconvenienced, as he now needed to find a new roommate to help in paying the rent. His minimum wage job at the local Italian restaurant, Mario and Luigi's, just did not cover all of his expenses.

It was January of 2014 when Meta Knight revealed that he could not pay rent. Unsurprisingly, his landlord was not satisfied with the news. Though Meta Knight begged for a raise at work, he was not only denied, but fired from the job completely. Meta Knight was evicted from his home on the first of February.

It just so happened that Fox McCloud was looking for a new roommate, since his previous roommate was no longer fond of the idea of living with him... for some reason. Though Meta Knight knew not what this reason was, he was out of options, so he showed up at Fox's home with hopes of moving in.

Meta Knight knocked three times on the door... no answer. Again, he knocked. Again, no answer. Meta Knight sighed and waited for a few more seconds. Fox was not coming to the door, he could clearly tell. As he turned on his heel and walked down the steps, he finally found his man.

"NO! GO AWAY!" Fox yelled, running down the road towards the house. At first, Meta Knight thought the Arwing pilot was speaking to him, but he then realized that the demand was directed at Fox's pursuer: Ike.

"You ate my Baconator!" he accused as he followed.

"I don't even like bacon! What is wrong with you?!" Fox screamed over his shoulder as he bounded up onto the steps. He saw Meta Knight as he reached for his keys and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Meta Knight responded, "I came to be your roommate."

"Perfect, it's all you, get in!" Fox told him, pushing the door open and ducking inside. Meta Knight quickly slipped into the building and let Fox slam the door behind him. The pilot locked the door in a hurry, before promptly barricading the door with a recliner.

"He's doing this all because of... a sandwich?" asked Meta Knight.

"He is _insane_!" Fox insisted. There was a pounding on the door.

"I will knock this door down if I have to!" shouted Ike.

"I'll call the police!" Fox insisted.

"Uh, you don't want to do that," Meta Knight told him.

Ike then cried, "I'm coming in!" He reared back, drew his sword, and thrust it through the door. The sword impaled the door and nearly cut into Fox.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" asked Fox.

"YOU ATE MY BACONATOR!" Ike yelled.

Fox responded, "I most certainly did not!"

"Why does he think you did it?" Meta Knight asked.

Fox replied, "I have absolutely no idea."

Just then, Ike tore down the door with a mighty slam of his fist, and he reclaimed his sword from the wood. He began pushing on the defeated door in an attempt to move the recliner out of the way.

"Follow me!" Fox told Meta Knight, turning around and running to a door in his bedroom. Meta Knight followed closely behind, and arrived in the room just as Fox was opening a door to what he thought was a closet. It turned out to be a stairway leading down into a basement area. The two proceeded down the stairs into a eerie room with flickering lights and the smell of chemicals.

"What's all this?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox replied, "My lab. We need to do something about Ike, and I'm afraid it's a little dangerous. Then again, so is Ike." He proceeded over to a large machine covered up by a thick black cloth.

"What's under here?" Meta Knight asked. Fox removed the curtain.

"_This_ is a time machine," Fox told him. "We need to figure out who took Ike's damn sandwich and then get it back before Ike murders me, and you by association."

"A time machine? Seriously?" wondered Meta Knight skeptically.

"Really," Fox said. "Look, I know it's cliché. Blame the author. Anyway, hop in. We have to go back." The machine was very rusty-looking, and made up of various parts including a bathtub, printer, and oscillating fan. If Meta Knight didn't know any better, he'd say that Fox just glued some pieces together and then put on a car door. Meta Knight stepped in after Fox and looked around. It was very cramped, and could maybe fit six people max. There was a laptop hooked up to what appeared to be a big, typical console of multiple buttons that likely did various different functions to progress the plot in the event of writer's block and effortless writing. In the back corner opposite of the entrance, there was a single, functioning toilet.

"Why is there a toilet?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox replied, "This thing can go anywhere at anytime. Even places and times without toilets. You're welcome."

"You couldn't put it in another room?" asked Meta Knight.

"Ran out of stuff," was Fox's excuse. "Anyway, I'm sending us back to a few minutes before the Baconator was taken. That will give us a chance to get into a safe position and watch the crime scene. We have to make sure not to interfere with the events that take place, since that could create a major paradox."

"Yeah yeah, I saw _Back to the Future_," Meta Knight said. "How the hell did you put this together?"

"I programmed it on my laptop," Fox told him, as he began to type in numbers on a keypad.

"Must be an amazing computer," Meta Knight determined.

"It's an okay computer," professed Fox. With that, he flipped a lever, causing the machine to shake just a bit.

"Alright, here we go," Fox said. And with that, he pushed a big red button. Suddenly, there was the sound of a key scraping along piano wires and jingling bells.

"I've got you now!" came Ike's voice.

"Oh God!" screamed Fox. Just then, Ike swung open the door and charged at Fox. Fox dodged to the side, causing Ike to fall onto the computer and slam it shut.

"No! You just put it into hibernate!" Fox yelled.

"I'll put you into hibernate!" Ike proclaimed. And then, there was a bright flash.

* * *

Meta Knight slowly awoke, and realized he was still in the time machine. Specifically, sitting on the toilet in the corner. He got to his feet, before stumbling and falling to the ground in dizziness. His vision was less than stellar, and he was unsure what had happened to his senses. Looking around, he began to realize that there were others in the machine, and it was apparent that wherever and whenever they were, they had all made the trip together.

As the swordsman's eyes adjusted, he saw Fox lying unconscious in the middle of the floor. Ike was propped up on the console, covered in drool and a bit of blood from where he took a nasty blow. He was snoring, so he was clearly alive.

"Fox," whispered Meta Knight. "Wake up." Fox groaned and rolled over, but he did not awaken.

"Fox!" he said louder. Fox jerked suddenly, though he then laid back down. Meta Knight shook his head and walked closer.

"Fox!" he said once more, gently kicking Fox in the side.

"Huhwhat?" Fox gasped, sitting up. "Oh, we're alive I see."

"Yeah, we're alive," Meta Knight told him. "Can you tell what happened after that flash of light?"

"Well, we traveled somewhere," Fox said. "Putting the computer in hibernate is sketchy, so I don't know where exactly this puts us. Nothing completely different from where we were before, maybe a few miles away and a few years back, but nothing like a century back in Indonesia or anything."

"Right, well, so we're probably in Smashville in the last twenty years or something?" Meta Knight gathered.

"Maybe, give or take," Fox said. "Could be in Picken or something. Maybe in the future even."

"Wouldn't that be better than being in the past?" asked Meta Knight. "We could change history by going to the past, couldn't we?"

"Time is really weird," Fox revealed. "People tend to forget seeing a time machine. Never sure why. It's pretty safe as long as we don't do anything stupid."

"I think Ike over there is the only one who could do something stupid," Meta Knight revealed.

"Damn! I forgot about him!" Fox said. "We've gotta do something about him!"

"Like what?" Meta Knight asked. "Leave him behind?"

"Bad idea," Fox believed. "Imagine the damage that guy could cause."

"I'll cause some damage to your face..." Ike said, as he awoke slowly. He looked at Fox, and his eyes widened. Then, he shot up and lifted his sword. "That's it, Fox! I've had enough of you!"

"This has gone on long enough!" Meta Knight shouted. He drew his sword and advanced towards Ike, holding it next to his neck. "What makes you think Fox took your damn Baconator?"

"I SAW HIM!" Ike insisted.

"You didn't see me," Fox told him. "I didn't do it!"

"Yeah? Well prove it!" Ike demanded.

Fox answered, "I would have if you hadn't tackled my computer! Now you sent the time machine who knows where and who knows when!"

"Time machine? Bullshit!" Ike said. He stood straight up, edged away from Meta Knight's sword, and approached the door. It had somehow shut itself in the journey, so Ike threw it open again.

"Where the hell are we?!" Ike asked. Meta Knight and Fox looked out the door with him.

"Looks like Saffron City," examined Fox. "It was a stage back in the original tournament. Not a fun stage to fight on."

"Looks like there's a fight going on now," determined Meta Knight. It was true. Mario and Luigi were punching and kicking each other all over the place. "Yeah, that's right. You two beat each other up. Assholes."

"Why are they assholes?" asked Fox.

"They fired me," said Meta Knight. Just then, a creaking sound, and then the sound of something metal breaking and a crashing sound of a body. The three turned around.

"Snake? What are you doing in here?!" asked Fox. It was apparent that Snake had fallen from the ceiling, as a tile had broken off and was now dangling by a single cable.

"Uhm... How did I get here?" asked Snake to himself. "Oh yeah! I remember now! I was chasing this cute little squirrel, and then... then he jumped into your window. So, I was like, 'Hey! Come back!' And the squirrel was all like, 'No!' So... I followed it into the window and it ran down these stairs and so I followed it and it jumped into this box and climbed up into the ceiling, so then I climbed up and found out that there was like, a whole squirrel tribe living in the ceiling. I started living with the squirrels."

"How long were you up there?" Fox interrogated.

"Uh... Three days, maybe four," Snake said.

"I don't believe this story at all," Meta Knight revealed. He jumped up and grabbed the edge, poking his head up over it. "And... a hundred squirrel corpses. I believe you now."

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: And now we have our wonder team for the story! Hope you liked the setup chapter, because now that we have the things we can do the stuff.


	2. Saffron City

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#2: SAFFRON CITY

Fox and the rest of the time travelers had gathered around Fox's computer in an attempt to learn what time they had arrived in, and whether or not they should leave.

"April 2, 2014," read Fox from his information and random numbers on the screen of his laptop.

"So we don't have to worry about screwing anything up, right?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox answered, "Probably not. As long as we don't somehow run into ourselves or interact with ourselves in any way. Don't call any phones, and definitely make sure to mark it on your calendar to stay away from Saffron City on April 2, 2014."

"Speaking of phones, I have a text from Bowser," said Snake as he looked at his phone. "Could be wondering where I am."

"Don't read that!" Fox exclaimed. "You're receiving that text on April 2, 2014. If you read it, you could learn something about your future."

"I should ask him the lottery numbers from the past few months!" Snake figured.

"No!" Fox said. "You can't learn about your future! If you change anything about your life between our previous time and now, then you create a paradox because you know something that it is not possible for you to know!"

"What's wrong with a paradox?" asked Snake.

"Nobody knows for sure," Fox confessed. "But the odds are, all hell will break loose."

With a nod, Meta Knight told Snake simply, "Right. So don't cause one."

"I won't! Geez, you guys act like I'm irresponsible!" Snake cried in defense.

"I heard you put a car battery in a microwave," Fox pointed out.

Ike added, "Oh yeah, I heard that too!"

"I didn't do that!"

"I think you're lying," Ike countered.

"Am not!"

"Can we _not_ do this?" Meta Knight asked rhetorically. "Fox, can you take us to the crime scene so we can see who really took Ike's Baconator?"

"Ahmmm, not yet," Fox revealed with a nervous rub of the back of his head.

"Why not?" asked Ike.

Fox explained, "The engine in this thing gets pretty hot when we time travel. It turns out that a DMC DeLorean from the 80's really doesn't have an engine for this thing."

"You built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?!" screamed Snake. The other three looked at him disapprovingly. "Sorry. Nobody else made the comment and I felt like I was expected to."

"Riiiiight," sounded the masked swordsman. "How long until we can go back?"

The fox, Fox, said, "About an hour, give or take."

"Great, so what are we supposed to do for an hour?" Ike wondered impatiently.

"We might as well look around since we're here," Fox suggested with a grin. "It's the future!"

"Yeah, maybe a black guy will be president!" Snake proposed.

Meta Knight told him, "A black guy is _already _president, dumbass."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Snake shouted.

Fox asked, "You sure about that?"

Ike then added, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure President Fassad is white."

"_Fassad_?! What about Obama?" Meta Knight cried in disbelief.

"Obama? Who's that?" asked Ike.

"Side-effect of the first trip through time," Fox realized. "You're imagining an alternate reality. Don't worry, you'll be back to your senses soon."

"Ha! I'm not a dumbass!" Snake cheered. "I was right!"

Meta Knight turned to him and revealed that he was indeed a dumbass, despite being right. The others nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, let's go check out Saffron City!" Fox cheered. Meta Knight walked over to the door and peeked outside.

"How are we going to get to the ground?" asked Meta Knight.

"Jump," Ike told him plainly. "It's not like we take fall damage or anything."

"But then how do we get back _up_?" Meta Knight further interrogated.

"Good point," Fox pointed out. "Right, I have this endless ladder that I picked up in the year 2178 at Cardiff. We'll put it to use here."

"They invented a tangible infinity?" asked Meta Knight. "With technology like that, they must have everything figured out."

"Everything but showers that are the perfect temperature right away," replied Fox as he took the infinite rope ladder in hand. It was like a small bag that you would find a sleeping bag, or a kidnapped baby, inside, and it had a buckle clip on the end that did not open. Fox reached within the mouth at the other end and pulled out the end of a rope ladder.

"This little clip on the side here fastens the ladder in place," Fox told the group. "Meta Knight, you're in charge of flipping that once I'm on the ground." Meta Knight nodded in agreement. Fox fastened the buckle clip to a rail next to the door before jumping from the time machine with the rope ladder in hand.

"After you," Ike motioned to Snake.

"...I'm scared," Snake pointed out.

"Wimp," Ike taunted.

"I'm not a wimp!" Snake yelled.

"Good," responded Ike with a smile. He stuck his foot out and then pushed Snake over it, tripping him and causing him to plummet face first towards the earth. Ike turned to Meta Knight and gave a half-wave, half-salute, before jumping backwards out the time machine door. Meta Knight then clicked the switch on the side of the bag before jumping and gliding to the ground.

* * *

"Now see here, I ordered a Master Ball three weeks ago, and it has yet to arrive! That's well beyond the time limit I paid for, and I want to know what the hold-up is!"

"I'm sorry, professor, but there have been snags in the production line," explained the man at the desk to the older man in the lab coat and dress pants. "A Voltorb got stuck in the machinery and blew up the equipment, and repairs are only now finishing."

Professor Oak left the Silph Co. building in a huff; too long had he waited for a very important item to ship to contribute to his research. For what reason, he was uncertain, as it was apparent he was being lied to; a Voltorb could not get stuck in the machinery considering Voltorbs went extinct the previous year thanks to their own trainers commanding them to detonate in hopes of blowing the Pokemon of other trainers to kingdom come.

The grumbling, irritated professor stumbled along the road, feeling quite cheated. The Silph Company dominated the Kanto economy, with its production of the entire range of Pokeballs, Potions, and Repels. They also found significant success with their own take on lamp oil, rope, and bombs.

"They just fell from the sky!" came the voice of a woman in surprise.

A small girl asked, "Are they Pokemon?"

"Game Freak's really running out of ideas," said a young man. Professor Oak looked to the source of the voices and saw a gathering culminating around something in a nearby street. Oak, an expert on Pokemon, would have to be the first to document a new species. As he excused himself and motioned people aside, the professor closed in and found a group of four individuals: one furry and dressed like a pilot, another with a sword and a cape, a third with a headband and a overly tight outfit, and finally a round creature with wings and a mask.

"These two aren't Pokemon, they're people!" acknowledged Oak to himself with a nod. He then looked to the furry creature.

"What's this Pokemon? Another fox Pokemon?" he asked himself. To the creature, he asked, "What kind of Pokemon are you? Say your name. What does the fox say?"

"Uuuuungh..." moaned the fox.

"Ah, you're an Ungachu," established Professor Oak with approval. "Now tell me, are you a boy or a girl?" The fox's eyes opened.

"Shit!" he screamed, jumping up.

"Oh, that's my grandson's name!" said Professor Oak. "You know Shit?"

"Meta Knight, Snake, Ike! Wake up!" ordered Ungachu to the other three parties. "There's a crazy guy interrogating me!"

"Whose idea was it to jump out of that thing?" wondered Meta Knight as he awoke covered in scrapes and sores.

"Probably Snake's," noted Ike as he struggled to his feet.

Snake protested, "It was the author's idea." He felt a pain in his jaw as if he had been punched, though nobody was there.

"Right, move along!" Meta Knight told the crowd. "There's nothing to see here!" The people freaked out and ran away, as they did not seem to hold high opinions of Pokemon that could speak Kantish.

"What do you want, old man?" asked Ike to the professor.

"Old?! I'll have you know that I am plenty spry, thank you very much!" the professor insisted.

"I see..." muttered Meta Knight.

The professor then spoke up. He asked them, "Who are you four, anyway?"

Snake responded, "Oh! We're time tra-"

"Problem solvers!" interrupted Meta Knight.

"Ah, it sounded like your friend was about to say time travelers," the professor noted with a chuckle. "Funny how age plays tricks on you."

"Ha, yeah, funny indeed," Meta Knight agreed awkwardly. "So who are you?"

Oak answered, "I am the famous and revered Professor Samuel Oak of Pallet Town, expert in the study of Pokemon!"

"Oh, I've heard of you from the Pokemon Trainer," revealed Fox with the bounce of his pointer and a repetitive nod. "He said you gave him his first Pokemon."

"Why yes, I tend to give away starter Pokemon," Oak assured. "Though lately I haven't been in any shape to give anyone their Pokemon."

"Why not?" asked Ike.

Oak remarked, "Because Silph Co.'s not making Pokeballs to put them in. They're a little sketchy these days. Kind of a shame, too. The economy depends on them."

"They're that big?" asked Meta Knight. "I figured a society as well-established as Kanto would have disallowed monopolies by now."

"Well I don't know what all that means, but I'm asking you to go figure out what those people are up to!" Professor Oak demanded of them.

Fox quipped, "You're asking something like that out of people you just met?"

Oak maintained, "I most certainly am. All of the roads out of town are closed until you do this, so get on it!" He then turned on his heel and strolled away, presumably to leave the city through one of the closed roads.

"Kanto people are freaking weird," reported Meta Knight.

"Well, I guess we should leave now," Fox decided. "I've had enough of this place."

"No!" disagreed Ike. "We're the good guys! We have a duty, and that duty is to help these people and save their economy!"

"He said duty," giggled Snake.

"Look Ike, I know you want to be the hero and everything, but that's not what this machine was made for," Fox told him. "Changing history is not wise, since that alters the future."

"What's wrong with changing the future?" Ike asked. "We haven't gotten here yet, so we could change history from our own time and get the same effect."

"Wow... Ike's actually right," Meta Knight scoffed.

"Yeah, maybe," Fox replied. "But do we _really_ need to help these people? We don't owe them anything."

Snake responded, "I kind of like the idea of being a hero."

"I like being a bringer of swift justice," Ike said.

"It'd be fun to kick some evil syndicate ass or something like that," Meta Knight reasoned.

"Alright then," agreed Fox. "Let's go check out this Silph Co."

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Me, My Silph, and I

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#3: ME, MY SILPH, AND I

Fox confirmed, "This is the place."

As Snake looked the towering facility over, he asked, "You sure about that?"

"Well," Fox started. "It says The Silph Company in big letters over the door, and the signs around the area all suggest the same thing, so yes, Snake, I am sure about that." There was a certain edginess in his voice.

Snake whimpered, "No need to be so mean." Fox ignored his pain and entered the building with Meta Knight, Snake, and Ike closely behind.

The entrance was large and fancy with potted plants that, unlike those on Snake's front porch, had not been urinated in, and a fancy sort of tiling on the floor that a man could see his reflection in from eleven floors up- eleven floors being the count of those in the very building from which this comparison is made. There were all sorts of elevators, cubicles, and stairs, particularly higher up in the building, since this was a heavily used office being the corporate headquarters of the sole economic superpower of the region and those surrounding it. In the center of the front area of this particular floor, there was a massive fountain that Ike or Snake could be drowned in assuming their very presence became unbearable (an idea which Meta Knight almost pointed out to Fox until he refrained on account of the lashing out he could receive for suggesting something of the sort while they were outside their own time). There were couches and chairs on either side of the room, in the event that someone was waiting for something, and in the corner stood a lone woman, a lone woman surrounded by walls on two sides and an L-shaped desk on the other sides, forming an inescapable prison that would no doubt serve as her final resting place and eternal prison considering the lack of sophisticated exits, assuming she had a broken leg that prevented her from hopping over the counter.

"So ummm... What exactly did that crazy professor want us to do?" asked Meta Knight to Fox. Fox struggled to find the words that would form his answer, and he looked around the room as if he would find them hovering about the room in various places.

Finally, he presented the answer, "Investigate them to see just what they're hiding and why, I guess."

"And how do we do that? Just look around?" Meta Knight further pressed.

"That's a little direct," Fox pointed out.

Meta Knight replied, "Well I don't feel like playing Mission Improbable all the way to the top floor."

"We need to know what we're up against," Snake chimed in.

"When did we become _up against_ anything?" Meta Knight wondered with just a twinge of rhetoric.

Snake then elaborated, "I'm an expert in reconnaissance and investigation and a whole lot of other awesome stuff."

"You can't even spell reconnaissance," drilled Meta Knight.

"Hell, _I _can't even spell that," pointed out Fox.

"R-E-C-O-N-A-S-I-N-T-S," taunted Ike.

Snake nodded and said, "That's exactly right. Now, let me come up with a plan." Meta Knight looked to Fox for a solution. Fox just returned a confused look and a shrug.

"Right then! Here we go!" Snake led, throwing himself into a chair and pulling a huge roll of brown paper from nowhere in particular. He unrolled it onto a table and into the floor, letting it trail out the automatic door and into the streets of Saffron City. From his pocket he pulled out a red crayon and began to draw out some diagram.

Meta Knight then pointed out, "The lady behind the desk has been looking straight ahead this whole time."

"Don't think too much of it," Fox told him. "Not a lot of people in this region turn to look in other directions, and on those rare occasions they do, it looks _very strange_."

Ike at this point had already taken a seat next to Snake to look over at the no doubt fantastic Van Gogh killer that was being forged in a flurry of scarlet scribbles.

"Alright, I'm done!" Snake exclaimed, raising his fists in victory and leaning back with the map in hand. Fox and Meta Knight turned and closed in on him to view the plan with low expectations.

"Okay, so here's the plan..." started Snake with a clearing of the throat. "I'm going to sneak into the air vents and climb to the top floor. Once I'm up, I'll drop a marble down the vent and let it drop to the ground. When you hear it hit, that will be your signal. You three will run up the stairs and assault everyone you see and we'll meet in the middle." The whole time, he pointed to each step on his map, though the others could not make out how the drawings even remotely resembled his descriptions.

Meta Knight was first to ask the obvious question, "So how do we figure out what's going on with Silph Co.?" Snake paused for a moment or two and stared at nothing in particular.

"Oh," he blankly answered. Meta Knight slapped the drawing out of his hands and crumpled it up before tossing it into the trash can.

"Hey! That's my drawing!" he shouted, jumping from his seat and running over to the trash can to recover his drawing.

Meta Knight began to form a plan he preferred by saying, "We need to go up one floor at a time and interrogate each and every person we see. Someone's bound to know something."

"I'd wager everyone knows something," Fox proposed. "It's just whether or not they'll tell us. These people like to keep secrets."

"What's this?" Snake asked. He reached down to the bottom of the trash can and did something. Suddenly, Fox screamed and fell through the floor below him. A trapdoor had opened up and caused him to plummet to his doom, maybe.

"What did you just do?" Meta Knight asked Snake. The trapdoor swung closed.

Snake answered, "I just pushed this button!"

"Well we've gotta go after him!" Meta Knight insisted. "Push it again!"

"Fine, fine," agreed Snake, and he reached back down to push the button. As he did, a bit of water dripped onto the top of his head, and suddenly a trapdoor opened above him and dumped out at least sixty pounds of raw carp right onto him. He was crushed beneath the fishy booby trap.

Meta Knight sighed and asked himself, "Why did I not expect as much?"

* * *

Following his descent from the first floor, Fox found himself sliding down an impressive and steep ramp that would probably end up killing him once his hit the bottom if he was not a main character. It was surprisingly clean and sturdy, implying that this ramp had great relevance in some respect. He was almost falling at terminal velocity considering both the steep nature of the ramp and the almost buttery feel of its surface.

After what felt like ten minutes but was really more like one, the ramp curled up into a less precarious angle and allowed Fox to slide off the end into a rather warm and muddy feeling substance. He was covered from head to toe in whatever it was, and as he got to his feet, he realized he was standing in a massive basket of mashed potatoes. But what was stranger than that, arguably, is the fact that the room was very homely, with plates mounted on the wall, and wooded floors and walls, with a table covered in food. It wasn't just homely, it was a home, with occupants and all.

"Oh honey, I didn't know we were having company," came the nasally voice of a female. Fox looked to the source of the voice and saw a pair of large squirrels sitting at the table (_"How did I miss that?"_).

The other squirrel responded, "I didn't know either. Welcome to our house. You're welcome to some food if you'd like." It was apparent that the two squirrels were married, but what was less apparent was the reason they were there. Even _less _apparent was why Fox was there.

"You live here?" Fox asked, as if the answer was not completely obvious.

"Why yes we do," the male squirrel answered. "I built this house twenty-seven years ago, after I returned from the war."

Fox further interrogated, "You were in a war?"

"I was," he answered. "That was the style back then."

"Right..." he muttered. "What's the fastest way out of here?"

"Why, the way you came, of course," the squirrel told him.

Fox cursed under his breath and returned to the slide, where he began to climb, dripping in mashed potatoes and incredibly inconvenienced.

* * *

Meta Knight decided, "Alright, you know what? I'm so done with this place. We're getting Fox back and then leaving."

Ike jumped up and protested, "But we have to stop the evildoing that's going on here! ADVENTURE!"

Meta Knight shook his head and answered, "No, no adventure! We need to get Fox and go find who took your damn Baconator so this whole time travel incident will be over!" He pulled out his sword and thrust it into the space between the trapdoor and the floor, attempting to pry it open.

"Gah, it won't budge!" he complained before removing the blade and sighing. "Fine, we'll have to fix whatever it is that's going on here."

"Yeah! We get to be the heroes!" Ike decided.

Meta Knight groaned audibly and decided to make his way over to the lady standing behind the desk. "Excuse me!"

No response.

"Hello?"

Nothing at all.

"Allow me," Snake told Meta Knight. He stepped over to the counter, put his elbow on it and propped his chin on his fist as he smiled at the lady.

"Eyy," he flirted.

She then responded, "Welcome to Silph Co. Sorry, but we are temporarily closed."

"What... What was that all about?" Meta Knight asked Snake.

"You wanna go out to dinner with me tonight?" Snake pressed further. No response.

"A!" Ike shouted at her.

"Welcome to Silph Co. Sorry, but we are temporarily closed," she repeated.

"She responds to when we say A!" Ike pointed out.

"Welcome to Silph Co. Sorry, but we are temporarily closed," she said once more.

"Yeah yeah yeah," muttered Meta Knight. He decided to head over to the elevator and push the up button. After a good twenty seconds of waiting, it opened, and Meta Knight stepped inside.

"You guys coming?" he asked Ike and Snake. The two jumped into the elevator just as the door closed. Meta Knight pushed the 11 button to send them all straight to the top floor.

"Why are we going to the top?" asked Ike.

"Nothing ever happens on the middle floors," Meta Knight insisted. The elevator stopped, and opened up. Meta Knight stepped out and rounded the corner. "I... don't believe it."

"It's a dead end!" Ike realized.

"Who would make a dead end floor? WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING IT?!" Meta Knight shouted at God and man.

"It's not _totally_ a dead end," Snake pointed out, with his ear against the wall. "There's more to it."

"What do you mean?" asked Meta Knight.

"Watch and learn!" he said. He pulled out a packet of C4 and put it against the wall before securing it in place with duct tape.

"You seriously carry that around with you?" Meta Knight questioned with disbelief. "That seems a little dangerous."

"Stand back," Snake told them. They did. He pushed a button on some remote thing he happened to have on him, which set off the C4 in an instant. The wall came down and revealed another room.

"What the hell?" came a voice. The trio stepped over the rubble and saw a middle aged man in a suit looking at them in disbelief from his couch in a small lounge room.

"Are you the guy behind what's going on at Silph Co.?" asked Meta Knight with disinterest and irritation.

"So! I must say, I am impressed you got here. Team Rocket captures Pokémon from around the world. They're important tools for keeping our criminal enterprise going. I am the leader, Giovanni! For your insolence, you will feel a world of pain!" he shouted at the three of them.

"Team who?" asked Meta Knight.

"Nidorino! I choose you!" Giovanni spat, throwing out a small purple Pokemon that you can look up on Google if you are ignorant to the joys of Pokemon.

Meta Knight was dumbstruck. "You seriously expect me to battle you when I have no Pokemon? Like, that's really a thing you want to happen?"

"Alright!" Ike cheered. "Meta Knight! I choose you!"

"What..."

"Don't worry, I play lots of Pokemon!"

"Nidorino! Use Horn Attack!" Giovanni commanded, causing Nidorino to lunge forward and impale Meta Knight through the stomach with its horn.

"HOLY SHIT!" Meta Knight screamed.

"This is interesting," grunted Snake from behind, as he took notes with a Blue's Clues notepad and crayon set.

"Alright Meta Knight! Use Sacred Sword!" Ike told Meta Knight.

"I'M BLEEDING! I THINK IT PIERCED MY HEART! SOMEONE GET ME A DOOOOOOOOOCTOOOOOOOOOR!" Meta Knight screamed at the top of his lungs as he hovered in midair by the horn through his chest.

"Nidorino! Use Poison Sting!" Giovanni continued. Nidorino then fired a series of pins from his mouth.

"HOW IS THIS LEGAL?!" exclaimed Meta Knight.

"Okay Meta Knight! Come back! Snake! I choose you!" Ike commanded.

"WHERE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GO?! I CAN'T FEEL MY SPINE!"

"Here I go, boss!" Snake cheered, jumping into the front lines.

"Snake! Use Grenade Toss!" Ike told Snake. Snake agreed, taking a grenade from his pocket and chucking it into the middle of the room.

"REMOVE THE PIN NEXT TIME, DUMBASS!" Meta Knight shouted.

"Nidorino, use Helping Hand!" Giovanni commanded. Nidorino did absolutely nothing.

"Alright, Snake! Now, use Pistol Shot! On the grenade!" Ike told Snake. Snake whipped out his gun and pointed it at the grenade.

"Showtime," he said cheekily, before pulling the trigger and blowing up the grenade. Fiery awesomeness enveloped the room, and Nidorino and Giovanni were completely singed by the blast, though Meta Knight was mysteriously unharmed. Nidorino turned to ash, while Giovanni collapsed in the floor in a defeated heap.

"We did it!" Ike cheered. He and Snake grunted at each other before chest bumping in midair.

"...Help me..." groaned Meta Knight from the floor. Finally, Ike realized the seriousness of his friend's injury.

"We gotta get him some help," Ike told Snake.

"I'm not so sure we can do anything for him," Snake responded gravely.

"Of course we can do something!" Ike professed. "I know just the place!" He bent over and picked up Meta Knight before slinging the tiny swordsman over his shoulder and leading Snake to the elevator and pushing the button to return to the bottom floor.

The elevator descended and opened up before the two walked out into the lobby. As they neared the exit, the trapdoor swung open.

"I made it," huffed Fox, as he clambered out onto the floor, covered in mashed potatoes.

"What happened to you?" Ike asked. Fox collapsed in exhaustion.

"He looks really delicious right now," Snake said.

"Bring him with us," Ike told Snake. "We need him." Snake walked over and attempted to lift Fox.

"Ugh, he's way too heavy," Snake confessed. Ike sighed and threw Fox over his other shoulder before muttering, "Wimp." The two walked outside and down the street a bit, before Ike led Snake into a building with a red roof. It was labeled, P.C.

"Hello, would you like me to heal your Pokemon?" asked a pink haired lady behind a counter.

"Why yes," Ike told her. "Yes I would." He dropped Fox and Meta Knight's motionless bodies onto the counter top. The nurse effortlessly picked them up and set them on a big, sci-fi esque machine behind her. It beeped a few times, and they watched as the hole in Meta Knight's chest disappeared.

"Jeez, we need one of these in Smashville," Meta Knight exclaimed at he sat up. Fox got up more slowly, though the two both eventually hopped up and climbed over the counter. The four of them walked out of the building.

"So, how'd the whole mission go?" asked Fox to the others.

"Me and Snake did everything ourselves!" Ike cheered.

"Really?" Fox responded in disbelief.

"He's not lying," Meta Knight insisted.

"Whoa..." Fox then said. "I'm impressed."

"Granted, I'm pretty sure they killed a guy," Meta Knight pointed out.

"It's okay! He was evil!" Ike told him.

"Right..." Fox mumbled. "What's say we get back to the time machine?"

"Please," begged Meta Knight. The four returned to the ladder beside the tall building, where they began to climb. After what seemed like centuries to the tired team, they finally got back into the time machine. Fox pulled up the ladder and detached it from the door before throwing the infinite ladder into a drawer next to the toilet.

"Right, so I guess we're off to find out who took Ike's Baconator," Fox established with a half-pirouette as he neared the laptop.

"You know guys, I think this could be a lot of fun," Ike told them with a smile.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
